Hormone Check: Critical Edition

Things that are true and have always been true:

1. In my right mind, I don't stop flipping channels when I see The Apprentice is on.
2. In my right mind, I don't stop to watch popular country singers perform.
3. In my right mind, I begin to retch when I hear cheesy country lyrics

Indications that my body is being feasted on by a parasite:

1. Watched The Apprentice.
2. Felt a bit warm toward country singer and cheeseball, Trace Adkins.
3. Found his song performance and lyrics moving enough to choke up.

Bean! Give me myself back, please?!