Welcome to my meltdown!

(the above is an approximation of the size of The Bean at 29 weeks)

It's not that sitting at this desk is the most comfortable thing I could be doing right now, but writing, right this second, feels like just about the only way to send an SOS to the world. I already called TD at work and burst into tears and I'm not so good at just phoning my pals up so I can cry at them. So here I am.

I am sore, I am terribly easily winded, I can't sleep (when I do, I'm not sure I actually am asleep), every time I swallow a bit of food, I get stomach cramps and end up in the bathroom. When I sit up straight, everything smooshes and hurts. When I lie down, my back wrenches up and makes it hard to turn, and especially to get up. I'm so tired. All of this looks normalish, I guess, but I've had such a good time of it all along and now the simplest stuff is really quite hard to do. At this moment, something in my pelvis feels like it's cracking. When I look around at the PILES, no, PILES!!! of laundry and dog hair and dirty dishes and mildew and crud stuck in the sink, I not only want to cry, I do cry.

I wish my TD wasn't at work every day until 10 pm. I wish I could have him around to make me laugh and feel normal. I wish I was helping M&N with their yard sale. I WISH THE GODDAMN AIR CONDITIONING WOULD WORK CORRECTLY.

I think that The Bean is positioned really low, which might account for some of the agony. My belly pokes out upward from my belly button to my ribs, but that's not where the action is. Consequently, I think that Bean has relocated my organs to just below my ribs. Did I tell you I am nauseated now too? This is hard and I don't really like it at all. I am not finding any humor in this. And there are 11 weeks to go.

p.s. Believe me, I know there are worse things that could be happening to me, but it feels a little like being in the middle of a food-poisoning-puke-fest: there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, and the misery makes you want to die, but it will be over. Soon. Which is no consolation when you're very pregnant or very food-poisoned.