Tuesday, July 22, 2008

new daily affirmations

I would encourage you to take the applicable portions of this collection of affirmations and print them on a small card, laminate them, and carry them with you. When you are feeling unsure of yourself, pull your card out and chant them aloud.

  1. It is okay for you to be horribly anxious about your dirty house. (it doesn't mean you're petty or crazy)
  2. It is not your imagination that food in Utah tastes crappier than food in Pennsylvania.
  3. Pooping >6 times a day IS unfair.
  4. It's not unhealthy to put your head on your desk at work and (vividly) imagine stabbing the people around you.
  5. Sometimes it IS someone else's fault.
  6. There are uglier things than stretch marks.
  7. Dust is not a moral weakness.
  8. Dog hair on every surface is not an indication of a character flaw.
  9. You can get a pedicure and not get struck down by lightning.
  10. Noone will point and laugh at you if you go to the pool.
  11. You do not have to share ALL of your Wilbur chocolate.
  12. Your husband thinks you're super-cute, even if you look and smell like a circus elephant.
  13. You are not a hypochondriac; cutting back the last of your crazy-meds can make you feel sick to your stomach.
  14. It's okay to miss your family and friends so much you cry.
  15. It's normal to feel like swamp-ass after being away from the usual for a week.

Quote of the day (from my over-worked, underappreciated co-worker): I think that the smell of the laminating machine is what "the smell of success" smells like.

I wouldn't be surprised at all.

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Does this mean you are thinking about coming back east?

Can I vote?

Kate Rosenberg said...

Yes and yes.

Anonymous said...

Come back east! Come back east!

You absosmurf-ly made my evening. I was just feeling anxious about my dirty house and then feeling crazy because I was anxious. And now I feel normal. Or at least in good company.

Lex

Sarah said...

Moving date?