Saturday Notes

Pregnancy feels like ass.
Maybe not all the time, but when acid reflux wakes you up in the night and you're afraid to go back to sleep lest you waken yourself with full-blown puking, that sucks. When your head feels foggy and hurty and sleepy? Sucks. When your house is so filthy, you consider just having it condemned so you can move on? Sucky.

TD found a buffet.
TD loves buffets. Which is, of course, not surprising. Last night, as an early father's day celebration, I told TD to pick any place he wanted to go to eat (knowing full well that he'd choose a buffet and that his paycheck just deposited into my account). He chose "Buffet City." Not a joke. It's a very new buffet and all the food is really big and plump. It was odd. The pans were all full and colorful, but there was something creepy about the way everything was so ...enormous. I mean, the canned peaches were all perfect halves and they kind of glowed. We weren't that far from Magna, which is a copper mining town and known for its sketchy proximity to very toxic waste. I'm assuming this would account for the toxic crapping that happened in our house, post-buffet.


The SIL has a baby shower.
I'm pretty sure it's tomorrow in Erie, PA. I'm pretty bummed that I can't be there to harass her about the child's gene pool, etc. I miss her so much and I hate to lose an opportunity to shower her with completely family-inappropriate gifts. The craft gifts that I mentioned previously are being finished up and will have to greet her back in the CO when she gets home. Now that I know the gifts won't have an audience, I guess I'll take out the framed pictures of my ass and the maternity nipple tassles.


Princess shoes.
One of my clients has an enormous child. She's beautiful, but about twice the size she should be for her age (She's 2.5--looks 4.5). I've latched onto her because she is proof that enormous children can be darling. She also wears these incredibly cute pink sparkly mary janes with everything. Absolutely everything, including bathing suits. They are her princess shoes and she refuses to wear anything but. Yesterday, she wore a great little camouflage skirt and t-shirt. With the princess shoes. And tube socks. That'll be our kid.

Watched "Knocked Up."
And laughed really hard. Though "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"-type comedy usually leaves me retching, this time I almost wet my pants. You may regret the loss of brain cells this movie will cause, but you won't feel so goddamn serious, either.

Eh, nothing very interesting to report from here. I miss my friends. And I wish I were in PA to picnic for Father's Day.
xoxo
k