Today I was literally backed into a corner so my co-workers could tell me horrifying stories about breasts. No, seriously, my chair was facing the wall and I had my head covered with my arms but I could still feel their hot, motherly breathing on my neck. I'm not sure what inspired this otherwise pleasant group of women to attempt to scare the shit out of me, but they could not stop. It was all about the scary things that boobs do when you lactate. Okay, even typing "lactate" makes my ladies fold themselves up and tremble. But it didn't stop at lactation. And it didn't stop at BLEEDING, CRACKED NIPPLES, either. You would think that it might have stopped when my friend K exclaimed that, "milk will just shoot out of, like, ten little holes from each boob!" Nope. It did finally stop when one of them told an odd little story about a woman she knew who would stand outside of another woman's office (who was still breastfeeding a 2 year-old) and would make baby crying sounds until the woman starting leaking all over her clothes. That pretty much just weirded everyone out enough. God forbid the fact that I was almost crying, huddled in the corner stop them before that point.I want to breastfeed badly. There's almost no good reason not to, in my case. Damn, I even suffered through sleeping med withdrawal for months so I can be ready to feed the baby without also artificially sedating the baby (though nobody seems to be able to provide me with a very good reason not to do that, damn them). But I'll admit that nothing makes me feel more uncomfortable than thinking about a little human vacuum suctioned onto my boobs. I'm not grossed out, just absolutely certain that it will feel, to me, like poking at a raw nerve in my gums. And for whatever reason, that is absolutely hilarious to my colleagues. I don't think I could hear a birth story that would freak me out as much as the time one of my clients was letting her milk dry up and she sat on the couch for hours, crying from the pain, her breasts bandaged up with ace bandages. Boobies aren't meant for that! Except that mammary glands say otherwise.
xoxo
k
1 comment:
I'm not going to sugar coat it, the first weeks of nursing is hell. Cracked nips:check. Bleeding nips: check check. Less sleep because nursing babies get hungry more often then formula feed babies: Big effing check. (My fav was having so much milk that it would shoot out and spray the baby in the face and on his head.)
But...and this is a giant but: less stinky poo (from the baby, Mama's poo is still stinky.)
So, it sucks for a few weeks, the first two being the worst, and then it gets better. You heal up, then you are left with tough nips that can take anything your sweet baby can dish out. You get the hang of nursing to the point that you can lay on your side, in your bed and nurse with the baby next to you, all cuddled and warm.
Oh, and if the lactation consultant tells you it "shouldn't hurt if you are doing it right" please feel free to tell her to step off. It hurts even if you are doing it right.
Lastly, it takes practice and it is not at all intuitive. You will feel like you are smothering your newborn (but really, their noses and chins should be touching your breast.)
It is worth it all when your baby looks up at you and gives you a smile...and a satisfied burp.
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